Friday, December 21, 2012

Titus 2 Series: To Be Chaste Part 1

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.                                                                                          Titus 2:4-5

                                                                       Photo credit
So far, we have covered soberness, loving husbands and children, and discretion. We are about halfway through! :)

When I began looking up "chaste", I thought, "Oh boy! This ought to be good!" But as I dug deeper into the word meaning and origin, it became a bit more applicable to me. 

We are all aware of the fact that we are supposed to save physical intimacy for marriage; it's something we just know is right. So why would the women need to be "taught" to be chaste, if they were already honoring this in biblical times?

I was a bit confused, but when I looked up the definition, one of them was "The words 'chaste' and 'chastity' stem from the Latin adjective castus meaning 'pure'." (Wikipedia).  As I explored further, I found that it also meant "Pure in thought and act: modest." (Merriam-webster dictionary). Other definitions also alluded to dressing and acting modestly and  in a pure way. We touched on dressing modesty in the post To Be Sober, but not really on modest behavior. 

I will be the first person to raise my hand when asked if my behavior has ever been flirtatious or suggestive at times. I have by no means "arrived" in this area. So let us (together :)) discover what God has to say about the way we should conduct ourselves.

I would like to direct your attention to a woman who is commonly referred to in our house as, "The Proverbs 7 woman". Let us see how her behavior characterizes her as a harlot.

Verse 9: She does her work in the black of night. Or when no one is looking.
Verse 10: She dresses in a way so as to attract young men.
Verse 11: She laughs loudly, thinks she is right all the time, is prideful, and would rather be out partying than being home.
Verse 12: You never know what to expect of her next.
Verse 13: With an innocent face, she lures him into her trap, and catches him.
Verse 14: She is religious, and this would explain why she does this in secret. She goes to church, perhaps helps out in ministry, and her religious friends don't suspect a thing!
Verse 15: She appears"needy ". Men have a natural desire to protect females, and she is appealing to that.
Verse 16-17: I think she is telling him here that she has really made it romantic, and everything is pleasing to the eye, as we know that goods from Egypt was expensive.
 Verse 18: I can just imagine her cuddling up to him and looking up at him with puppy dog eyes as she says, "Let us have fun together!" (Insert seductive smile).
Verse 19-20: My man isn't home, so no one will know!
Verse 21: She strokes his ego, she flatters him in a way that he likes, making him feel like A MAN, and she leads him away like a ox to the slaughter. She has done her dirty work, and only destruction can come of it. 

"But wait! I am not a harlot!" I can just hear you saying. Well, at first glance, we wouldn't place ourselves at such a low standard. 

Here is my version of a Modern Day Christian Harlot.

"Cindy" is a Christian woman whom everybody adores. She is single, popular, young, still living at home, and seems to attract quite a few men. 

Cindy loves parties, and is commonly referred to as "the life of the party". 

One day, one of her good friends has a party. Cindy carefully gets herself ready, fixing her hair in a flattering way, dabs some makeup on, especially on the eyes, puts on nice earrings, not gaudy, but just the right "flare". A nice "modest" shirt with a slight v neck, belt tight around the waist, short skirt with tight leggings underneath, and high heels complete the look, not to mention the bright red nail polish on her long fingernails and toes, as well as a long necklace down the front. With a satisfied look in the mirror, she marches off, ready for action.

Upon arriving, she quickly looks around for any new men she hasn't yet met. As she spots a handsome young man, the following scenario unfolds.

Action 1: Get his attention.
She greets her friends with peals of delight, and laughs loudly. She doesn't want her friends to know that she has eyes for that man, but she wants to know who he is, how old he is, and if he is available. She will drop hints or questions, and they will eventually lead to the answers she is looking for. She tries to stay in the same room, or at least in his view. Continually being loud, or constantly drawing attention pays off, and she sees him glance her way, and she looks into his eyes. It may look innocent enough, so as her friends don't suspect, but she allows just enough of a sparkle in her eyes as to attract him and draw him in. After meeting eyes for a while, and moving in ways to get his attention, she is finally introduced to him.

Have you found yourself in here so far? Next week I will finish this story, and share a bit more.

Emily Long

Friday, December 14, 2012

Titus 2 Series: To Be Chaste Part 2

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Titus 2:4-5

And we continue our story of a Modern Day Christian Harlot. To read part 1 of this post, click here.
Action 2: She flatters him.
 Upon being introduced, she flatters his shirt, and how much she likes it, and how it looks good on him. They chat about life for a little, and she talks about herself and stands in a way so it is slightly seductive.She tells him all about her ministries, and lets him know how godly she is. She rubs her hands on her thighs, runs her hand through her hair, plays with strands of her hair, laughs at all his jokes, and looks at him so as to make him feel like she really admires him. They come up with little jokes, and then later when they are with everybody, he will say something and she will laugh and smack his arm lightly, but doesn't remove her hand immediately. She will lean down to get something, and her shirt may come down, and her skirt comes up in the back. It looks innocent enough to her friends, but she knows it is luring him in. 

Action 3: Makes herself look humble, and sort of pitiful.
She will talk to him, and perhaps say with a sigh, "My family is better at everything than me! They are so much prettier, etc., etc." in which he will reply how pretty she is, and how talented she is, etc. She may have a slight ailment, and will capitalize on it, so as to incite his sympathy, and make him want to help her. He feels like the hero, but she knows he if falling. She continues to flatter him, and give compliments about this or that. 

Action 4: She goes in for the kill. 
Cindy knows she has him. They stay late talking, and when it's time to leave, he helps her to the car and as they are standing in the dark, so close together, she looks up into his face, and with a seductive smile, she slowly puts her arms around his neck and draws him in...

Now, I know most of you haven't gotten to step 4, but in your hearts perhaps, that may be the case. I know I have been guilty of several of these things, including some of her dress and actions. I don't know if you were able to find yourself anywhere in here, and I genuinely hope you didn't. I have met many Cindy's, and they may go to your church, your homeschool group, your musical groups, or you like to hang around them. It is easy to want to be like them, because they are popular.

 I guarantee you that she will not be luring in good guys. "Guys know who the players are." A friend once told me. Are we even slightly imitating her? 

I encourage you to really take a look at your life. Your clothing standards, your jewelry, your shoes, your appearance, your actions, your heart, and your motives. The Bible says that when a man looks on a woman to lust after her, he has committed adultery WITH her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28). So many times I hear women say, "Well, he just needs to control his thoughts!". But God says that he committed adultery WITH her, not against her! Something in her behavior and looks trapped him, and they are both guilty. 

If a man is staring at you, don't automatically think, "He likes me! He keeps staring at me!". Is there something in your behavior or apparel that is drawing unwanted attention to you? Perhaps you should have a heart check up. 

Now, I am not suggesting we all dress like rag bags, and wear no make up or jewelry, and become Amish, but I am suggesting that we check our heart attitudes. What is your motive for wearing that? Is it so you can get attention? Then perhaps it would be wise not to wear it. 

It is the heart attitude that is important. "...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth;  for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7b) Our hearts should desire God's opinion, not our friends or family. But you don't just wake up one day and your heart is desiring God. It comes by reading and obeying the Word of God, and praying that the Lord would make your heart bend to His will. 

Please take a humble look at your life, and see "if there be some wicked way" in you (Psalm 139:24). We don't want to be stealing from other women's husbands. And that is exactly what we are doing when we act or dress like Cindy. 

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Peter 5:8.

Blessings until next time,
Emily Long