Titus 2 Series; To Be Sober

This past week, I have been doing an in-depth study on Titus 2:4-5. It has been incredible, rewarding, and eye opening. I plan to share some lessons I learned in a series of articles focusing on each quality God commands older women to teach the younger women, and hopefully encourage young ladies to follow these guidelines that God has set for us.

"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."     

Titus 2:4-5

The first quality we will examine is soberness. When I think of being sober, I picture a person that is not drunk. Or perhaps my second choice of thought would be to think that we are to be docile, quiet, and not allowed to speak. Would you be surprised if I told you the word actually means the total opposite?

The dictionary definition is, "Possessing or characterized by properly controlled faculties." Faculties is also another word for power. We are to use self control to bring our power under control. 

"What power?" you may ask. May I speak frankly to all the young ladies out there?

We have power over men that we may not realize we have. We have the power to tear down a man, or build him up. We have the power to encourage a man in the Lord, or we can cause him to stumble. Very simply put, we have a choice, and what we chose to do with our words and actions can impact a man greatly.

Some women have realized the power they have, and they abuse it. They tear down men's masculinity, and defeminize him until he know feels like a man. I have been guilty of this very thing, to my shame. Being sarcastic, meaning to be funny, but all it accomplished was to make the man look stupid. That is the worst thing we could ever do to any man, whether he is our father, brother, or a brother in Christ. To make the opposite sex look like a fool is indeed a horrible habit that our society has fallen into. It is easier to think of something funny to say at someone else's expense, than it is to think of something humorous that is in concordance with Philippians 4:8:  "Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." We want to be popular! We want people to like us, to think we are witty, and funny, and be the life of our party. But at someone else's expense? That is pretty cheap humor. Nobody likes to be the butt of jokes. It is better not to say anything than to hurt someone, or to make a fool of someone.You don't appreciate it, and nobody else does either.

We also have the power to cause a man to stumble by dressing and acting a certain way and causing him to lust. Please do not get lusting and thinking someone is beautiful mixed up. They are two completely different things. Appreciating someone's beauty or thinking a man handsome is not wrong in itself. I myself know quite a few beautiful women and handsome men. But lusting is on the opposite side of the spectrum. The dictionary definition defines lust as a strong desire or craving to have something you know you cannot or should not have. Do we really want guys to lust after us?

If we look closely at the wording in Matthew 5:28. "But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." He isn't lusting against her, but with her. That can only mean one thing; she is doing something to cause him to lust!

From what I have observed, I think the main reason that men lust after women is because of our modesty issue. As this world continues it's downward trek, so do the necklines of many females, while their skirts or pants go farther up than is respectable.

The Harris twins at The Rebelution did a modesty survey, and the answers the guys gave from all around the world, all different age groups, were very helpful. You can view it here.

Let's face it; We (referring to young ladies) don't have a clue. We have no idea what is going through the mind of a man when they look at us. We haven't the slightest clue what battle may be raging in his thought life. That is why we must be very careful what we say, how we dress, and how we conduct ourselves.

So, after having said all that, did I happen to change your view of being sober?  It goes beyond being docile and not being drunk. No, far from it. We have power, young ladies. Let us use it in a properly controlled way.

Blessings until next time,
Emily