Wednesday, November 19, 2014

A Label I Don't Mind

I have been labeled. It isn't a bad classification thankfully. Just one that describes my current station very well. I don't mind it as much as ADHD. I had that label slapped on me as a child. This label isn't like that.


Photo credit

No, it doesn't stand for super-active-hyper-drive, though that would be cool. It just stands for Stay-At-Home Daughter. See, nothing too exciting.

I have been asked to explain *why*. Why at the age of 22 am I still living at home? I am capable, responsible, and hard working. So why am I still pining away at home, waiting by my window, looking out towards the road, singing "Someday My Prince Will Come", and helping wipe my siblings noses while slaving in my mother's kitchen?

Well, upon being asked on this point, my first answer was simple; Free food! Free lodging! Free internet! Boo yeah baby! But, as it was my Mom asking, that answer wasn't going to fly over very well.

I had to go to my creative corner and think. Honestly, I had never actually given this much consideration. For me, it was just something all of my friends and I did: simply remain at home till marriage. But, that answer wasn't good enough either. So back to my corner. Here is what I finally came up with. (She better like this!)

What do you think of when you hear the word "home"? I think of safety, love, care, concern, authority, and sharing. A place to share ideas, get advice, being with people who know your faults, and love you anyway. A place where you can be yourself, talk freely, and sleep without having to worry about your safety. I have no concern about where my next meal is going to come from, or fear that I will be rejected for my faith. I am surrounded by people I agree with on many subjects, and hold the same general convictions about things. I fit in. I am accepted as a person. I have my own talents, and I am encouraged to grow and strengthen them.

And, yes, this is where I have learned to cook, clean, care for children, lean on others for help, build people up, submit to authority, consider how hard marriage can be and what it takes to make it work, debate, and search out what I believe. I was not trained to just "grow up", I was trained how to thrive. All from the best teachers in the world; my parents.

I have heard that if you can learn to live with every person in your home, you can get along with anyone in the world. I totally understand why. I am learning about that too.

But something else that being here at home has encouraged me to do; make my own home someday. I see things here that I think, "I will do that too when I am married/have a home." or, "I don't agree with that method; I will try something different when I have children". Mom isn't training me to be just like her, or to do everything like she does. I am not her carbon copy. She knows she has made some mistakes. She is teaching me to make decisions for myself, and make my own choices, but reminds me of the consequences of my actions, whether good or bad. She is not a perfect teacher, but she is the best trainer that Christ could have provided for me.

Dad is not a pro at raising daughters, but neither am I proficient at being a daughter. We are in this together, and I get the privilege of practicing how to relate to my husband and submit to his authority through Daddy. I am protected, and loved. I get to experience what it is like for a man to tell you that you are beautiful, in a pure and sweet way that only a dad can tell his daughter. I don't have to wonder what it will be like to be cherished by a man, or to get the attention of the opposite sex. My earthly father is someone I can turn to for advice, love, opinions, and correction (I don't like that part so much J). He is a fierce protector, and you don’t mess with his girls.

My sisters are my best friends. 100% hands down. I share my life, my opinions (whether they want it or not), my failures, my sorrow, and my happiness. In return, I get the same things from them. We are a team. We face life together. We build each other up in the Lord, spurring the other on to greater glory for God. We struggle, we even argue sometimes, but at the end of the day, we are better people because we love each other. I can't imagine what I would do without them honestly.

I also don't need to wait till marriage to discover that men are not just physically different from women, but intellectually and emotionally as well. My brothers are top professors in the college course of Guy Psychology 101. I am learning how guys respond, think, act, process, and view things quite the opposite than I think they should. I am also discovering how to react, redirect, and encourage them (it hasn't been easy in any way!) by simply living with and observing them in their own environment where they are most comfortable. And I haven't had to go through any heartbreaks or dream-shattering experiences to come to that conclusion. I also get the added benefit of having protectors, even when my daddy isn't there. Though we struggle at times in our relationships, my brothers don't take kindly too guys mistreating their sisters. I really appreciate that!

Considering all this, why would a rational young woman not want to live at home? I understand there are homes with many different situations and problems, but this is what is true of my home. There are so many benefits, including free food, lodging, and internet. ;-)

I love it here, and wouldn't want to be any other place until it is time to start my own home, or unless God calls me to serve somewhere else.

Home is where the heart of this SAHD chooses to be.